Litha

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An Ancient Solar Celebration:

Nearly every agricultural society has marked the high point of summer in some way, shape or form. On this date – usually around June 21 or 22 (or December 21/22 in the southern hemisphere) – the sun reaches its zenith in the sky. It is the longest day of the year, and the point at which the sun seems to just hang there without moving – in fact, the word “solstice” is from the Latin word solstitium, which literally translates to “sun stands still.” The travels of the sun were marked and recorded.

Stone circles such as Stonehenge were oriented to highlight the rising of the sun on the day of the summer solstice.738230_489525064427202_1807462383_o

 

Traveling the Heavens:

Although few primary sources are available detailing the practices of the ancient Celts, some information can be found in the chronicles kept by early Christian monks. Some of these writings, combined with surviving folklore, indicate that Midsummer was celebrated with hilltop bonfires and that it was a time to honor the space between earth and the heavens.

 

Fire and Water:

In addition to the polarity between land and sky, Litha is a time to find a balance between fire and water. According to Ceisiwr Serith, in his book The Pagan Family, European traditions celebrated this time of year by setting large wheels on fire and then rolling them down a hill into a body of water. He suggests that this may be because this is when the sun is at its strongest yet also the day at which it begins to weaken. Another possibility is that the water mitigates the heat of the sun, and subordinating the sun wheel to water may prevent drought.

Saxon Traditions:428320_498631693516539_1252357611_n

When they arrived in the British Isles, the Saxon invaders brought with them the tradition of calling the month of June Aerra Litha. They marked Midsummer with huge bonfires that celebrated the power of the sun over darkness. For people in Scandinavian countries and in the farther reaches of the Northern hemisphere, Midsummer was very important. The nearly endless hours of light in June are a happy contrast to the constant darkness found six months later in the middle of winter.

Roman Festivals :

The Romans, who had a festival for anything and everything, celebrated this time as sacred to Juno, the wife of Jupiter and goddess of women and childbirth. She is also called Juno Luna and blesses women with the privilege of menstruation. The month of June was named for her, and because Juno was the patroness of marriage, her month remains an ever-popular time for weddings. This time of year was also sacred to Vesta, goddess of the hearth. The matrons of Rome entered her temple on Midsummer and made offerings of salted meal for eight days, in hopes that she would confer her blessings upon their homes.

 

Midsummer for Modern Pagans:

Litha has often been a source of contention among modern Pagan and Wiccan groups, because there’s always been a question about whether or not Midsummer was truly celebrated by the ancients. While there’s scholarly evidence to indicate that it was indeed observed, there were suggestions made by 625524_516158931763815_179111476_nGerald Gardner, the founder of modern Wicca, that the solar festivals (the solstices and equinoxes) were actually added later and imported from the Middle East. Regardless of the origins, many modern Wiccans and other Pagans do choose to celebrate Litha every year in June.

 

In some traditions, Litha is a time at which there is a battle between light and dark. The Oak King is seen as the ruler of the year between winter solstice and summer solstice, and the Holly King from summer to winter. At each solstice they battle for power, and while the Oak King may be in charge of things at the beginning of June, by the end of Midsummer he is defeated by the Holly King.

This is a time of year of brightness and warmth. Crops are growing in their fields with the heat of the sun, but may require water to keep them alive. The power of the sun at Midsummer is at its most potent, and the earth is fertile with the bounty of growing life.

For contemporary Pagans, this is a day of inner power and brightness. Find yourself a quiet spot and meditate on the darkness and the light both in the world and in your personal life. Celebrate the turning of the Wheel of the Year with fire and water, night and day, and other symbols of the opposition of light and dark.

Litha is a great time to celebrate outdoors if you have children. Take them swimming or just turn on the sprinkler to run through, and then have a bonfire or barbecue at the end of the day. Let them stay up late to say goodnight to the sun, and celebrate nightfall with sparklers, storytelling, and music. This is also an ideal Sabbat to do some love magic or celebrate a handfasting, since June is the month of marriages and family.

Here are a few ways to celebrate Litha

In love and light

Tiana-Lynn1381327_525583007531352_573696247_n

 

 

Taken from About Religion – Pagans and Wiccans

Improving Self Esteem – 8 Questions to Ask Yourself

YOU University Online

The Lonely Issue of Self Esteem

If you think you are the only one interested in improving self esteem, you are not alone. Most people think that they are the only ones that have low self esteem while the truth of the matter is that most people at some time in their life suffer from self esteem issues. I mean really, who wants to walk around all victimy these days and say, “Poor me. I’m working on improving self esteem for myself?” Anyway, self esteem issues are a pretty good subject for your old friend denial to pop right in and cover up the whole thing from your conscious mind.

So if you want to check it out, ask yourself the following to uncover self esteem issues:

  • Do you settle for way less than you want in a relationship?
  • Do you absolutely never let anyone see you dressed less than…

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Dance with Creator

 

The equinox has long been celebrated as a time of beginning and renewal

March 20th 2015 will be Magickal, and could be the most intense day of this year. I would like to help you get the most out of its incredible power. I will explain what is going to happen and what it means for you.

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A Super moon, or perigee moon, happens when the full or new moon does its closest fly-by of the Earth, making it look bigger than it normally does. Out of the 6 Super moons which are to happen in 2015, this is the 3rd and the last one to be invisible due to the fact that the eclipse, which also is happening on March 20th, has a new moon instead of a full moon. But it will be gliding past us closer than ever, and its shadow will be visible as it blocks out the sun on Friday morning.

A solar eclipse is a phenomenon where the sun and moon line up, so that the latter obscures the former, so an eclipse can only happen at new moon, when the moon is entirely in shadow. And the spectacular Supermoon images that are often spotted can only happen when the moon is full, since it can only be seen then. The other super moons will happen in August, September and October.

And the spring equinox will also happen on March 20th and refers to the time of the year when the day and night are of equal duration, mid-way between the longest and shortest days. This is when the Earth’s axis will be perpendicular to the sun’s rays which only happen twice a year, at the two equinoxes. After that, it will start tipping over, making the days longer in the northern hemisphere.

While it won’t have any discernable, direct impact on how the solar eclipse looks, it will contribute to a rare collision of three unusual celestial events.supermoon101

Magickal Side

A powerful portal is opening up today with a New Moon in Pisces, a total solar eclipse and a Super Moon all on the same day! Pisces energy encourages us to dream and vision what we can contribute to create the world we wish to inhabit. You can access higher dimensions of consciousness.

Like our ancestors before us, we are being called to pause with reverence and tune in to the greater cosmic cycles that we are a part of. Return, and enter the stillness through meditation, prayer or ceremony offering gratitude for the gift of Life and All that Is.

From simple acts of kindness, beginning with the Self, the revolution will birth forth from within each of us. For as we heal, we help others heal. As we shift our vibrations, we contribute in unseen ways to uplifting the energetic web that connects us all.

Eclipses are the most powerful transit that you can experience. They sing about major beginnings and endings. Pisces is the most psychic and sensitive sign in the zodiac. Your emotions will feel strong and deep.

You may be moody and introspective. This is because feelings rising from your subconscious may be difficult to communicate. Your sub-conscious speaks in a different language than your conscious mind.

Your physic abilities are increasing at this time and your intuition is strong. You could have spiritual experiences. Trust your intuition. Much insight can come to you now.

Watch out for fears and phobias that may wash over you. Stay in the present. Your power is in the now. This Pisces eclipse is bringing to light your mission and your soul’s purpose in this life. Merge with your Soul and be your authentic Self.supermoon5

You do not need to fix, save and rescue other people. You want to let people live their own lives. Allow others to learn from their experiences. This is the path to Self-mastery.

The Moon enters Aries less than an hour after the eclipse. Thirteen hours later the Sun enters Aries. You have the Spring/Fall Equinox.

Set your intention for what you want to create in the new season because having both lights (the Sun and the Moon) in Aries will cause your mood to want to rapidly shift and you will be ready to launch into action.

Be Ready to Dance with Creator

 

Tiana Lynn

“You University Emotion-Based Life Coach”

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 Steps to Setting Better Boundaries:

 

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1.  Know this sad truth: NO boundaries = little self esteem.

This used to describe me. I shudder to think of that time and it wasn’t so long ago. The first step to change is admitting this. (After all, what’s the point of saying we want to grow if we’re not going to be honest with ourselves about where we are now?) I say this because many of you reading this probably do not know what
your boundaries are. They should roll off your tongue like the alphabet. Your boundaries are your values. Boundaries are representative of how much or little you respect yourself. Boundaries are your friend.

  1. Decide what your core values are.

Who are you? What do you value? Figure out what, exactly, you’re comfortable with and what you aren’t. For example, since I work at home and need it to be quite, I will place a note on my door stating I am busy and I will not answer when someone knocks on my office door. I expect to be notified in advance before someone comes to visit and I expect 100% honesty from everyone at all times. Once you get clear on what matters most to you, then you can take bigger steps of communicating this to others.

This is the key: Instead of creating your boundaries around a difficult relationship in your life, you must make your boundaries about you. For example, my boundaries with unexpected visitors is about honoring the fact that since I at home I know I need to use my time wisely or I will get behind on my work. This boundary is to decrease my stress level and not about avoiding visits from friends or distancing myself from loved ones.

  1. You can’t change others, so change yourself.

Gosh, we all want others to change, right? I mean, that’s part of the human experience. We get into arguments with our partners or children hoping, wishing, and demanding even…that they STOP being difficult. We get mad when our moms call us five times in a day. You want your co-worker — that one who is so negative — to treat you with more respect, etc. The list is long.

We cannot change others. We are not responsible for what comes out of their mouth, the daily choices they make or their reactions, etc. The bottom line? Since you can’t change other people, change how you deal with them. As Dr. Cloud says in Boundaries, “They may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.”

  1. Decide the consequences ahead of time.

So what do we do if anyone pushes our boundaries (because they will)? Decide what the consequences are. For example, if my adult children continue to knock on my office when they have been told not to while I am working, I don’t answer the door. If a friend comes to my house when I have clearly said to call first, I don’t answer the door. If a friend of mine calls me repeatedly during a time-frame I had shared I would not be able to talk, I simply do not answer the phone. The best way to figure out your own boundaries and consequences when people cross them is sitting quietly down with yourself and making this all about you. (Remember: boundaries are about honoring your needs, not about judging other people’s choices.)

Write it down.

  1. Let your behavior, not your words, speak for you.

A new boundary of mine is that during the work hours, I don’t take personal calls. I am a person who thrives with structure. People have and will continue to test this boundary. What I don’t do is present them with an ultimatum. (“If you call me again during the work day, I absolutely will not be speaking to you.”)

You present your boundaries clearly to people and then let your behavior do the talking. So, if anyone calls me continuously during the day, and they know my boundary, I simply do not pick up the phone until after 5pm. People WILL test, push and disrespect your limits. You’ll know you’re getting healthier when this doesn’t get an emotional reaction out of you. When your boundaries are your core beliefs, you will not get riled up if you are tested.

  1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

The biggest part of boundaries is HOW clearly you communicate them. You can have the healthiest set of boundaries on the planet but if you do not communicate them clearly, you are going to create some really confusing relationships, both for you and everyone else involved.

One way to quickly get someone to question your character or authenticity? Say one thing and do another. Sometimes we’re afraid to confront others with truth in love or relationships. We’re afraid to tell people what we really want, to admit that we hate going to certain restaurants, or have trouble spending time with a friend’s toxic cousin, or hate when a boss dumps deadlines on us at 6pm on a Friday. We conceal our true feelings because we’re scared of people’s reactions. The more you ground yourself with your boundaries and values, the more you’ll be able to be very clear in your communication!

Get ready for your life to change because it will.

 

Blessings

Tiana Lynn

Whisperofchange.org

YOU University Emotion-Based Life Coach

 

Why Boundaries

 

All of us want to protect ourselves from emotional harm. As children we do this by unconsciously creating psychological defenses.  Photo (75)When we are adults we call these psychological defenses boundaries.  Boundaries unlike our childhood psychological defenses are conscience and healthy ways to protect ourselves from emotional harm. However abused children have a more difficult time as an adult understanding how to set boundaries.  Let me explain:

 

We all know that abuse can come in many forms, from subtle emotional manipulation to severe sexual and physical abuse, but to the unconscious mind any form of abuse is an insult to personal dignity.  Abused children learn at a very young age that not having boundaries (not resisting) is the best way of protection. They know intuitively that if they resist, it will cause more pain.  It is this same unconscious protection that can lead to unhealthy boundaries in adulthood.

 

This explains why I have had such a hard time all of my life with setting boundaries, both for myself and my children. To stand up to your abuser meant risking more hurt and pain no matter what kind of abuse it was, it left me feeling helpless and afraid and belittled and… worthless. And that was what I was left with to carry on into my adult life and worse of all to my children life.

 

It has taken courage and persistence to step out of the false protection I have unconsciously put around me all my life and see how it has never protected me at all.

Let me continue with what I have learned.

My first step was to overcome the belief that I was worthless.

Like any abused child I developed this belief to tolerate my lack of resistance to abuse. If I could convince myself that I was worthless, then I could easily justify not resisting anything that degrades my value. What I know now is that this belief is a negative belief which I created myself, so I can just as easily create another positive one to replace it.

The next step was to understand that healthy boundaries are made out of love, not fear. This is how I understand this concept.

There are “nice” people, who always appear to sacrifice themselves for others. They give the impression that giving in to others promotes peace and that boundaries are selfish—but many of these persons are motivated by an a need to keep the “peace” because of a fear of getting hurt. Such persons usually come from dysfunctional families homes and they themselves may have played the unconscious “family role” of peace-keeper. They’re angry at their parents, they feel guilty for being angry, and they fear any conflict that might reveal the truth about their anger. The real motive for their “nice” behavior, then, is fear, not real love.

On the other hand, there are persons who, knowing full well that they are being hurt will sometimes set aside their boundaries as an act of charity for others. And example would be getting pushed rudely by someone getting on a bus. You could say something about their rude behavior but you know the response would be hostile so you set aside your boundaries and tolerate the rudeness, hoping they might learn someday and be charitable to others. But these same persons who can willingly set aside their boundaries can just as well defend them. For insist if someone in is using foul language in your place of work and you tell them you don’t like it when you hear it and they don’t stop you can get up and leave.

There is a big difference between someone who has clear boundaries and is willing to protect them—and who can willingly set the boundaries aside for the good of others, if necessary—and someone who, because of fear, tolerates anything.

Therefore, acting out of fear only leads to a wasted life because it unconsciously supports rudeness and disorder. Acting from love, however, can bring genuine good into the world, through personal example. But only with healthy boundaries can you act from love.

Boundaries have a fundamental place in life itself. Every living creature has its own territory in which it lives and that it defends against intrusion. Boundaries are so fundamental that even criminals who thrive on violating the integrity of others have their own internal code of ethics, their own “boundaries.”

So, considering that boundaries have a purpose in civilization, someone who lacks boundaries isn’t really lacking them—at least not in the philosophical sense of something “missing.” Instead, this apparent lack is really a refusal to defend one’s own dignity, and it’s a refusal based on hatred. This hatred, though, is double-edged: it’s a hatred for others and it’s a hatred for the self.

It’s a hatred for the self that results from living always in fear because of having been mistreated or abused as a child. Unable to make sense of senseless hurt, a child, using imperfect childhood logic, arrives at the only “logical” conclusion: “It’s all my fault. I’m just a worthless person. I deserve condemnation for being worthless, and I deserve condemnation for always being so afraid.” When I understood this, a light went off… Self-hatred caused by fear that is caused by abuse.

If I didn’t hate myself, I would be able to take proper care of myself—and that includes having healthy boundaries to protect my dignity. Moreover, if I had healthy boundaries to protect my dignity, I could take proper care of others. Thus it should be apparent that not taking proper care of me and not taking proper care of others is a refusal based on self-hatred.

All of this self-hatred, however, derives from a hatred of others. When a child is mistreated by a parent, for example, the child will be angry with the parent, but, because it will feel dangerous to be angry with someone the child depends on for food and shelter, the child will hide the anger—and hate—by turning it against itself.

That hidden hatred, though, hurts others as well as yourself. When others mistreat you, your dignity is insulted, yes, but by keeping quiet and allowing the mistreatment, you deprive them of what would essentially be a spiritual warning about their sin; that is, if you were to defend your boundaries and speak up about the mistreatment, you would at least give the offender the opportunity to recognize and repent the hurtful behavior.

To establish my healthy boundaries, I needed to stop refusing to defend my boundaries. I needed to refuse to hate—and that includes refusing to hate myself.

I understand now why I did not have boundaries and tomorrow I will share what I know now to be the 6 core principles of setting better boundaries.

Blessings

Tiana Lynn

 

 

“Broken Toys”

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At the end of January I told you about a new relationship I was starting. I wasn’t sure where it was going but my inner voice would let me know. I am sorry to report it is not to be. I am here to tell on myself, and what I learned from this experience.

 

First I want to say I really, REALLY wanted it to work. I went into the relationship with the hope we were on the same page. But some where down deep inside my inner voice was talking to me again and I made a choice to ignore it. I wanted to believe I had found Mr. Right. And all my fantasies were coming true. Regardless of the price. So again because I wasn’t hearing what I wanted to hear, I
choose to ignore the one thing I trusted which had never steered me wrong…my inner voice…my intuition.  This was my first mistake.

 

I will not go into the details of the break up, it was petty and stupid but the outcome would have happened sooner or later because we both were not ready for a long lasting relationship even though we both wanted it so desperately. The unprocessed emotions and conditioning from childhood and pervious relationships had never been healed, so feelings were not able to be expressed in a healthy way. We honestly thought we were right and maybe we still do, when in fact it was our own fears and insecurities and frustrations getting the best of us.

 

I wanted so badly to give something of value to my partner that I lost site of the real picture, which was to be healthy emotionally so I could do my part of nurturing a new relationship. I know he wanted this also. I put blame on no one and I forgive us because I understand that we both still have some conditioning and unprocessed feeling to address.

 

To many times we want so desperately to be loved by the other that they jump when we need to wait. Only to find twice the pain when it doesn’t last. Now there is grief, guilt and despair of never finding love to add to the list of emotional healing. Or maybe you are so convinced of being right in your assessment of the situation and become stubborn and unwilling to see it any other way but your way.  This stubbornness then turns to anger which then leads to fear. Fear of being wrong and of complete separation. Then that turns to self criticism and finally depression. Either way, what a horrible road to travel!

 

 

That was the case with us. Words were said that cut straight to the core. My professional ethics were bashed and all of a sudden he became an expert as to who I was and what my intention on everything was, (which in his eyes were completely evil.) I was described as a “broken toy” he had found to play with. He was hurting and his only defense was to hurt back. He succeeded in doing just that.  I was horrified by his perception of the situation and responded as I had always done in the past….to become fearful. My flight or fight responses kicked in and I ran. It was beyond my understanding so I ran back into my shell and waited. Not sure what I was waiting for…but I waited.

 

The following day I talked to my coach and mentor, as well as fellow life coaches and some of the students of YOU University. I was up lifted (as usual) and told I was loved and appreciated and not to worry. After first making sure I was safe, I was coached and reminded to find the lessons I was to be learn and start the healing process by using the tools I had been trained to use in YOU University and write as many “Love Letters” as necessary until I found the love and forgiveness to heal the negativity feelings towards myself and towards him as well.

 

So this is the process I’m in at the moment. Understanding that everyone in our life is either a lesson for us or just an experience to share. When we keep with this understanding we realize that it is more harmful to hang on to the negative emotions that might come with those lessons or experiences. So processing through them is crucial to our growth and evolution as a spirit in this human existence.

 

My hope is that he too understands this process and moves to a place of love and forgiveness with the goal of healing. I care for him still and he might not believe it, but I can not nor will I ever wish ill will to someone who has brought happiness into my life which I desperately needed. He woke up feelings in me that I forgot I was capable of feeling. I felt loved and cared for which I soaked up like a starving puppy. So I will be forever grateful to him for that. I am learning to see this experience as neither good nor bad just a necessary part of my journey. I hope someday he can feel that way too.

 

 

Blessing

Tiana-Lynn

 

 

 

 

How do you deal with Transformation and Resistance

Whisper of Change

 

Resistance is a hard one. There seemed to be so many things that started to come up in my life to stop me from starting my transformation. Everything was getting in my way. Well the only thing getting in my way was me! But I didn’t see it. My brain just couldn’t grasp that I was creating the resistance. Only the times that I consciously knew I didn’t feel like studying did I understand resistance.

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Only when I was  honest with myself and saw how the guilt of letting myself down…again, was manifesting itself in my life, was I willing to do the work necessary  to make those changes possible. Just having the desire to change wasn’t enough. I had to have a way to change my thinking.

The limitations we carry from our childhood along with ones we impose on ourselves can leave our mind feeling very fearful which results with resistance.

I really wanted…

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