Fourteen years ago I married a man who I loved very much. He was a good man, a smart man, a kind man, but also a depressed man. His depression came 3 ½ years after joining the army. He had intended to make the Army his career. He was a sharp shooter and was training in Germany for his tour of duty in the Special Services when he did something he had never done before, completely missed his target. He was immediately taken to the medic where he was told after days of testing, that he had a rare eye disorder that would eventual lead to his completely be blind.  He was honorable discharged from the Army with 100% disability and full medical and financial benefits.


From that day forward his depression slowly grew. He did find another profession, computer programming, which he excelled at without any professional schooling, all his knowledge somehow came from within him. He helped his father who was also completely blind from birth, run his business. He had found what he was good at, he had made a life for himself, bought a house and was set for life with all the benefits the Army could bestow upon an honorable soldier. But in reality, they just forgot about him.


As the years went by his depression gradually got worse, even though he didn’t show it very often. His friends knew him always to be a kind and generous person, someone who was always there when you needed him. So when he told them of his attempt to kill himself and how he stopped himself just before it was too late, they didn’t take him very seriously. But I knew better.


I will leave at the details of how we meant and how I saved his life the first time he tried to kill himself and how the VA put him on walbutrin and stopped monitoring him which later led to him succeeding in taking his own life. I will get to the point. On September 11, 1999 I married David W Culbertson and on February 11, 2000 I found him in our home after he hot himself in the head. On September 11, 2000 we would have celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Instead I watched the bombings of the twin towers. So this day is special to me in many ways. Some I remember and I smile some I remember and my heart cries. I miss you David and wish you were here, as do the many that lost their loved ones on this day. What a crazy day to have an anniversary on anyway. We would have chosen the next day to celebrate anyway… the 12th… My Birthday